Category: introspection

  • Lessons Learned From Running A Sports Forum

    More than a year ago, I started a Facebook group. The subjects of focus are my favorite pro football and basketball teams. It’s nothing huge – maybe 120 members – but the engagement level is high among the top 20 percent.

    You learn a lot about people and yourself by running a forum. The dynamics of how people share, what people care about, what people will tolerate, what people won’t tolerate, and the breaking point at which friends become bitter are fascinating dynamics I’ve observed over time.

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  • Getting Beyond The Stiff And Serious

    When I feel unsure of myself in a group, I tend to behave very seriously, emoting very little. I’d give away nothing, for fear of sharing something that this particular group might not appreciate or, even worse, criticize.

    If that sounds like you, take comfort knowing that you’re not the only one. If you feel locked up inside, afraid to share the real you, we need to talk.

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  • Do You Focus On Others or Self?

    I had a heart to heart with my wife the other day about blogging. It’s a common subject in our house because A) it’s our family business and B) it’s been my passion since 2005.

    When I started blogging, everyone was still on MySpace and I could spam friend request people in other countries in hopes that they would read my blog posts when they were published.

    Fast forward an entire decade, and I still love blogging, though my methods of garnering traffic are somewhat different. Nowadays I just share a quote from each post with a link on Facebook and Twitter and live with what comes.

    Granted, when I write, it’s nowhere near as impactful or popular as when my wife writes. That’s partly because she has such a large following; but it’s mostly because she writes valuable content that people want to read and to share with their friends.

    Back to my story. So we were talking about blogging, and I asked her why she thinks my primary blog never got traffic or attention like hers.

    “Most people who bloggged when I got started were writing to themselves about themselves. I was writing to people about things they wanted to know.”

    And there it is. The majority of my posts are like diary entries. They’re about me, just like, ironically, this one is. I know a lot about me, and so when I write, I write about me.

    Most of the time that’s a mistake. I mean, unless you’re already a celebrity like Mark Cuban or Ashton Kutcher, not enough people care about what’s going on in your (or my) life to be a faithful reader.

    It’s not that we aren’t each unique and special and interesting in our own ways. We are. But the difference between 2015 and 2005 is that in 2005 you only had MySpace and Google/Yahoo to find stuff. That was about it.

    In the past decade, tens of millions of new information channels have sprung up, all vying for attention. It’s worse than drinking from a fire hose. It’s like trying to drink Noah’s flood.

    With email, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, text messaging and dozens of other mainstream communication channels at our fingertips,  we spend more time deciding what to ignore than what to read.

    So the criteria of what is read-worthy has skyrocketed. Now we only have time for Facebook, a couple emails, and MAYBE click a news link on Facebook to see what’s happening in the world out there.

    So in 2015, if you want to move beyond just blogging and run a blog that people actually read, you’ve got to consistently publish compelling articles. You’ve got to be unique. You’ve got to stand out in the crowd of noise and spam.

    For Heather, the path to relevance took her through day after day of painstaking research. But research wasn’t enough. There are plenty of dry and boring data portals on the web.

    No, Heather’s blog stands apart because she mastered a way to deliver killer research with adorable relatability. She’s the girl next door. She’s easy to understand, and she often gets a laugh out of the first paragraph.

    That endearing combo put her on the map, while I was busy updating the style of my blog and sharing my latest personal conundrum.

    So the REAL lesson learned here is to speak the language of the people you want to reach. And yet… the lesson I learned was somehow very different.

    Unlike you, who should follow Heather’s successful model, I will continue to blog about myself. Not because I want you to think I’m special. I’ve pretty much given up that dream. No, I will continue to blog about my own thoughts and ideas because I think I’m a relatable person. I think the ideas shared here might resonate with a few of you out there.

    Maybe the style will prevent me from ever reaching the level of Mommypotamus. That’s okay. I think. But more important is to follow the #1 lesson from my favorite book, Blogging Heroes, which is to be true to yourself.

    Others may see your work as selfish or self-serving. But if your style demands an unpopular stance, take your stand proudly and don’t stop.

    Be you. You are the best you we will ever have.


  • Focus Can Make Or Break You

    Focus is a brutal thing. Or, it can be. When things have been going consistently wrong for a while, and you feel like you’ve been beaten, it’s easy to focus on the negative because you’re surrounded with it. I know. I’ve been there.

    But like Michael Hyatt says, “The way to improve your marriage is cultivate and expand what’s working instead of dwelling on what’s not.”

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  • Enjoy the Silence

    There are things we do not say because we feel we can’t. There are words which would unravel all we have built. The castles in our minds. The images we have portrayed.

    So we project these silent images into space. By the sheer power of our heartfelt emotion. Beaming untold things to unknown beings.

    All so we can continue. To enjoy the silence.

     


  • How Does the Rest of the World See You?

    It’s fascinating how little we know about ourselves. It’s even more fascinating how much we discover we already knew once we have an expert tell us who we really are.

    Sometimes we’re just looking for affirmation or permission to be who we’ve always dreamed of being, but never truly stepped into. (more…)


  • Leave It to Fate Or Press Into Destiny?

    When it comes to fulfilling your dreams and reaching your destiny, is it a matter of submitting to God/Fate or is it a matter of proactive decision making, perseverance, and determination? (more…)


  • What If God?

    What if God wasn’t so much an abstract idea to be considered, but a glorious, majestic, and fearsome person to behold? What if we weren’t meant to idly chatter about each other’s misgivings about the religion our ancestors fed us but instead crawled on hand and knee across the desert to find Him? (more…)


  • Observation is Free

    Everyone has a talent. Maybe several. Mine are observation and introspection, hence the title. 

    Although many people seem oblivious to the world happening all around them, observation is easy in that you keep your eyes peeled and you pay attention. This may be strenuous exercise for the ADHD types, but otherwise it’s a pretty basic life skill.

    But there’s a logical next step to observation I’m not so motivated to engage. All the data gathered is useful when applied to a task like building a piece of furniture, designing an edible landscape, or planning a blog promotion. 

    What’s your greatest talent? Do you think it’s so easy that everyone should be able to do it too?

    If you answered yes, you have another question to answer:

    Is it easy because you possess so much raw talent? Or is it easy because it’s a skill that requires little effort?

    In other words, are you clinging to a lazy habit as your greatest strength or is it easy because you’re just THAT good? It hurts to ask, but it hurts more in the long run to not.

    Don’t assume the worst of yourself. Just ask and take inventory of your situation. If it’s real talent, you should jump on that. If not, ask yourself what the next logical steps would be to put that skill into active mode. And then do that.


  • Momentum Is a Fickle Thing

    When you deal with chronic pain or disease, it’s easy to lose momentum. Or more accurately put, it’s fairly difficult to build momentum. But once momentum is achieved, you ride that sucker until you can’t ride no mo’. (more…)