Self. Awareness. Blog.
I’ve taken a hiatus from blogging recently, and have chosen to focus on other areas of life for the time being. I may update sporadically, but for now, if for some odd reason you’d like a glimpse into life at the Potamus farm, stop by Mommypotamus.com and see what we’re up to.
God bless.
I thought my wife was hot in college. And trust me, she was. I was all goofy inside when I’d look at her. That’s partly why I married her. I’m not ashamed to say it. I like beauty. I didn’t want to ever feel the need to lie about how beautiful she looks. So I was picky. VERY picky. And I wanted to know beyond a reasonable doubt that I’d still be attracted to the woman I married 20 years later. Check.
Confession: I royally botched Mother’s Day this year. I mean ruined the entire day. It was a major milestone in our relationship, and I missed the opportunity to honor my wife the way she should be honored. And so here I am, celebrating you one more time, my beautiful Wifeypotamus, in this Mother’s Day Part Deux. So let’s begin.
One of the hardest things I do is explain my feelings for you. Most things in life for me are very cerebral. Maybe even detached. But not you. No, there’s very little about my knowing you that remains objective. Our marriage often gets into the nitty gritty of our lives, both the highs and the lows.
I am here to honor you, sweet wife, and, with some luck or divine inspiration, find some words to express who you are to me and what that means.
You were fiercely focused on excelling at school. You held yourself to higher scholastic standards than of your friends did. I knew early on that I could trust you because you were reliable and faithful to yourself. You showed great strength in some areas I was bankrupt. How does that saying go? “Faithful in little, blogger over much?” Something like that.
When we married, you kept us in the black. Okay, let’s be honest. You FOUGHT (me mostly) to keep us in the black. Thank you for succeeding.
You desperately studied to learn how to improve your health so that you could carry a baby to term. Once you realized you were pregnant, You took it upon yourself to become the most healthy eater / supplementer / exerciser that I’ve ever met. You loved our baby girl without knowing her name. And you gave her the very best chance at a lifetime of strong health from the moment of conception.
It’s been hotly debated around here whether your standards have been TOO high at times for your own good. I have more than a year’s worth of memories of sleepless nights – sacrifices you made because letting Katie cry it out wasn’t an option for you. I know that was one of the most trying times of your life, and though I’ve never told you before, I respect you immensely for believing and loving so strongly that you did so at great personal sacrifice. In a culture where most parents are fixated on how to keep their kids from interfering with their lives, you chose a MUCH lonelier, but more respectable path.
Through all the pain and effort of this year, I learned one very important thing about me, which taught me one very important thing about you. I learned that there was only one thing in my life that could motivate me to fast and pray: you. This taught me what I hold most dear in the world. If there was any doubt before that you are my beloved, the fact I EVER missed a meal is proof enough to me.
This brief photo gallery proves you’ve been far more actively engaged in our daughter’s life than it sometimes seemed. I love that we have so many action shots of you and Katie doing things together. Posing for the camera is nice, but remember what you shared is even more touching.
Check out my latest post on Mommypotamus.com entitled: The Frustration and Pleasure of God’s Divine Waiting Game. It’s a continuation of the theme I’ve been developing here over the past week.
The general theme here has been vision, pursuit, prayer, confusion, disappointment, and waiting. A thrill a minute, I tell ya.
