This teaching by Dudley Hall is changing my life. I’m listening over and over so I soak up all the stuff I’ve needed to hear.

Dudley says:

“…They (Adam and Eve) say, We’re hiding because we were ashamed. Now, they are so conscious of their flesh, they aren’t conscious of the Father’s love. By the way, that’s the first description of “flesh” – the whole flesh we talk about in the New Testament. You know, my flesh and spirit. Flesh is that perspective of life that’s developed by orphans.

Adam and Eve

“Because now Adam and Eve introduce into the human race, for the first time, a fatherless mentality. They are identifying themselves apart from their relationship to the Father. They are trying to identify who they are, what they’re here about. So, the orphan mentality gets introduced into the whole thing. The orphan mentality is a striving mentality. Because when you are conscious that you are separated from the Father’s love, then you start taking on responsibilities of the Father. Like, “Well, I gotta take care of my provision.” So worry becomes part of the deal. Then you gotta take care of your protection, so fear becomes a part of your experience. And you gotta take care of your promotion, that is your significance, and so pride and selfish ambition become a part of your experience.

“So now you have those things that are driving you. And one of the differences between a son and an orphan is an orphan is driven by internal things to meet these needs, whereas a son is free to follow. To respond. To respond to the Father. Jesus said, “I can do nothing except what I see my Father do, I can say nothing except what I hear my Father say.” So there’s a difference between responding to the Father and being driven by these needs in your life.

“By the way, if you want a description of these needs in your life, go toGalatians chapter 5:19 and it will put it under a list called “works of the flesh.”

If you let this teaching seep into your mind and let it percolate, the truth will change your life.

One of the greatest frustrations in my adult life has been the mystery and consequence of sharing prematurely. A revelation hits me, I get excited, I immediately turnand share it with someone else, and by tomorrow, it’s gone. Completely forgotten. This life-changing revelation has disappeared. And it’s no coincidence. It happens over and over and over and over again. I think God is showing me why:

Parable of the Sower

“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

The Parable Explained

“When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.

The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Being the Wrong Type of Soil

I’ve noticed that when I quickly share a new insight or revelation, I lose the benefit of that very thing. I’m so excited to have had the thought, that I immediately want to share it with someone else – usually someone I think needs to hear it more than I do. I share it with someone, who inevitably pats me on the head with verbal praise and/or appreciation, and I walk away satisfied. This is the problem.

Jesus addressed this concept in Matthew 6:16-18

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Fasting is an act of humility and contrition. It is a humbling of oneself by choosing to go without food either due to overwhelming sorrow or in collaboration with daily prayers earnestly seeking the Lord for something.

Motive is EVERYTHING

But there were people in Jesus’ day who played it up to get attention. They WANTED everyone to know they were fasting so that they’d be seen as holier and more respectable for their discipline. Jesus says that they’ve already received their reward in full. They put on a show and got the admiration and respect of the people. In other words, the outward display was a front for the true intention of getting public recognition.

The BETTER way is to get dressed and groomed and behave as though you are NOT fasting, so that your heart is certainly NOT focused on getting men’s attention, but rather God’s. If we choose to sacrifice and humble ourselves for God, He will reward us. If we do it to perform for men, they will reward us. It’s a question of whom we want to give us a reward.

Which Soil Am I?

I’m still trying to decide which type of soil this describes. I think sharing revelation too quickly makes me the rocky soil. I am the man “who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time.”

Are you tracking with me? In my mind, these two passages of Scripture are intertwined in my experience. I’ve become the rocky soil because I share the word too quickly and fail to develop deep roots. I am at risk of falling away at the point of trouble or persecution. I wish Jesus had explained what the rocks symbolize. Save that for another prayer. In the meantime, I have a dilemma.

To Blog or To Grow?

Have I arrived at the wrong conclusion? I don’t think so. When a revelation comes, I have two choices: write it in my journal, or write it on my blog. Which will I choose? I don’t have the energy to write it twice. By the time I get a thought out, I’m done. I’m wiped. I have two choices, and this is why I sometimes regret that I ever started blogging. If I’d just stuck with my journals, I’d have a ton more content and I’d theoretically be simmering a lot more revelation. But my 6+ blogs have drained the life out of me. And yet, I can’t abandon all of them. All but two, maybe. But not all.

Maybe it’s a mood swing. That’s very possible. Maybe I’ll see it differently tomorrow. But for now, I look at my life, and I wonder: should I be blogging at all?

Father, show me the answer. Show me how to blog and not give away the seeds I should be holding.

“So we went in and had a look and thought, Oh no! This is the end of the earth! This is like as hard as you can get. This is hyper arid. And it’s ten acres of almost dead flat. Completely salted landscape, 400 meters below sea level. The lowest place on earth. 2 kilometers from the Dead Sea. About 2 kilometers from where Jesus was christened. Hardly got any rainfall. Temperatures in August that go over 50 degrees Centigrade…”

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Let me understand the teaching of your precepts*;
then I will meditate on your wonders.

Psalm 119:27

One of the ways I want to grow, Father, is by meditating on Your wonders. Your great deeds tell me about who You are. I can see how You’ve responded to the cry of Your children in times past. And since You are unchanging, what I learn about you from the past is who You are today.

Your wonders are marvelous

When I meditate on your wonders, I most often reflect on the universe. I picture seemingly infinite space. I see planets, comets, stars, galaxies. Such beauty as one could only imagine. You are the God who created such beauty as could never be replicated by another.

This is one aspect of who You are.

I confess that I have a little trouble with Your immutability (never changing), because You also commanded the Israelites to kill man, woman, and child in the cities of the promised land. It’s hard to say and fully believe You are the same God who would do this, yet who later says He wills that none should perish.

I’ve heard speculation as to Your motives. I don’t know exactly what I believe. Some things I just don’t understand. I’m not throwing out the baby with the bath water. I’m not discarding my faith in You because of a paradox. But I would benefit from deeper comprehension. Teach me of Your ways, O Lord.

You called yourself my Father. You see me as Your son. It is one thing to ponder Your creation, but there is so much more to Your wonders. So much more. Show me Your wonders, Father. Cause them to pass before my focused attention so that I may perceive Your nature and Your character.

Demonstrations of Power

But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.

And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed.

Exodus 3:19-21

Father, You performed such wonders before Egypt’s pharaoh and the Your people in the days of Moses. You demonstrated Your power – Your supremacy over any gods the Egyptians worshipped. You gave testimony to Your own omnipotence.

Show us throughout Scripture other great examples of Your wonders. Remind us of Your wonders in our own lives. That we may see you with new eyes. With fresh understanding. With renewed hope and trust.

*Precept – a commandment or direction given as a rule of action or conduct; an injunction as to moral conduct; maxim; a procedural directive or rule, as for the performance of some technical operation.

For years now, I have been aware of the mandate to forgive those who hurt me. This head knowledge hadn’t fully informed my heart yet. I was offended often, and quick to tell the other person how I would forgive them and not walk in unforgiveness. I desired to be free from resentment and hatred. But I was chained to unforgiveness because of my ignorance.

I didn’t recognize this fault for years. I was walking through life, offering a mental assent of forgiveness to any and all, but experiencing none of the freedom and none of the joy of release. Layer upon layer of anger was laid within me and bottled up. I was just waiting for someone to mess with me so I could unleash years of wrath upon someone and feel released.

Another thing that ties us to the past is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness causes us to waste our lives trying to get even instead of fulfilling our own destiny by walking in our call. It is important that we forgive all those that sinned against us so we can be free to go on with our lives. It is also crucial that we learn to forgive ourselves for our own sins.  – Bill Johnson

We are trapped in the past by unforgiveness. We despise someone for hurting us, but we can’t stop focusing on it. We make major life decisions to prove that we are different, but since we don’t know what a different person feels like, but rather we are now experts at what it feels like to be the person who hurt us, we become that which we focus upon.

At one point, some of my ugly sin became public knowledge among family members. I was humiliated and ashamed of my weakness, but God intervened in his mercy. He spoke to me quickly and said, “You need to forgive yourself.” It wasn’t a thought I could have generated at that point, so I assumed it was God.

My response to God was, “Okay, God. But I don’t know how to do this. I choose to forgive myself of this sin (and I named it to him) and release myself from the penalties I think I deserve. Help me to truly forgive myself as I make this choice.”

Within seconds, relief flooded my soul. My burdens felt much, much lighter! I learned that day that unforgiveness had chained me to a behavior that I was doomed to repeat. I could not stop what I was doing because I had never forgiven myself for my sin.

Why would that affect me so? Because in my unforgiveness, I “knew” that I deserved to be punished, and I would never allow myself to feel like a good person when complimented or when good things happened because on the inside I was trying to pay a penance that would never end until my behavior changed. And my behavior couldn’t change by itself.

Once I forgave myself, I was no longer doomed to repeat my sins. The self-restraints had been lifted. Peace and holiness became possible.

If this speaks to you, humble yourself right now by closing your eyes and asking God to show you what you need to forgive yourself of. If you already know, because the Spirit of God has illuminated something in your life while you were reading this, just obey Him by making the choice of your will to forgive yourself, as I did. Then ask God to truly help you forgive, since you need His power to do so.

May God richly bless you.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

This is one of those statements to meditate on day after day! Imagine it! He who is able to do more than all we ask! More than we can imagine! Immeasurably more.

What can YOU imagine? I can imagine the dead raised, the earth splitting, hosts of angels appearing the sky, massive weather changes and signs in the sky. I can imagine millions of people coming to Jesus. I can imagine standing before Presidents, kings, and leaders, delivering the word of the Lord. I can imagine declaring the soon return of the Lord and people weep with repentance and open their hearts to Him.

I can imagine a lot. Maybe I should imagine more. But if he is able to do so much, all we need to do is discover whether He wants to. I mean, He obviously can do anything. But does He really WANT to?

Let’s look for the answer in His Word.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Yes, God. I will carry your words in my heart and mind, that I might not sin against you. I will meditate on your word all day. When I take a break from my work, I will think of your promises and your commands. I will find my peace and security in your word.

Dwell in me richly, Jesus. Abide in me, as I abide in you. Overcome my pettiness with your love. Rule over my impulsivity with your confident peace.

Amen.

Father, show me something in John 15 tonight. What do you want to say to me right now? Speak to me. Breathe revelation into me as I meditate on your word.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes.

What does it mean to prune a branch? Why do vinedressers prune vines? What’s the benefit?

Pruning grape vines is a basic principle that any grower, regardless of experience must understand.  Whenever you leave a vine unpruned, the first year you’ll have a massive big crop. Novice growers can feel delighted with their success and wonder what all the pruning fuss is about.

There’s a flipside to this.

The vine will produce more fruit than it knows what to do with because when you actually prune a vine correctly, you remove as much as 95 to 98% of the previous season’s growth.  If you leave all of that growth from the previous year it will have buds on it, which means you’ll have a huge crop the following year.

The vine can’t produce enough energy to ripen an unregulated crop, and it’ll be poor quality. The clusters will be straggly, and you won’t have much fruit worth using.  Even if it is able to ripen, given that it has to force so hard to come through, the vine will have diverted energy that it might ordinarily use to mature the wood and to help the vine get ready for winter.

– Pruning Grape Vines

So being pruned seems to mean having the fluff removed. The excess. Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Although we aren’t going to say that Jesus can’t produce enough energy to ripen an unregulated crop, we can say that the Body of Christ needs more strength and substance that occurs through pruning. At least, I think we can say that.

If a branch bears fruit, it isn’t removed. It’s pruned. God removes 95-98% of last season’s growth in order to avoid bearing straggly, withered fruit. Dying to self, perhaps? Death of the flesh? Allowing one to be humbled in order to continue bearing tasty fruit?