One of the greatest frustrations in my adult life has been the mystery and consequence of sharing prematurely. A revelation hits me, I get excited, I immediately turnand share it with someone else, and by tomorrow, it’s gone. Completely forgotten. This life-changing revelation has disappeared. And it’s no coincidence. It happens over and over and over and over again. I think God is showing me why:

Parable of the Sower

“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

The Parable Explained

“When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.

The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Being the Wrong Type of Soil

I’ve noticed that when I quickly share a new insight or revelation, I lose the benefit of that very thing. I’m so excited to have had the thought, that I immediately want to share it with someone else – usually someone I think needs to hear it more than I do. I share it with someone, who inevitably pats me on the head with verbal praise and/or appreciation, and I walk away satisfied. This is the problem.

Jesus addressed this concept in Matthew 6:16-18

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Fasting is an act of humility and contrition. It is a humbling of oneself by choosing to go without food either due to overwhelming sorrow or in collaboration with daily prayers earnestly seeking the Lord for something.

Motive is EVERYTHING

But there were people in Jesus’ day who played it up to get attention. They WANTED everyone to know they were fasting so that they’d be seen as holier and more respectable for their discipline. Jesus says that they’ve already received their reward in full. They put on a show and got the admiration and respect of the people. In other words, the outward display was a front for the true intention of getting public recognition.

The BETTER way is to get dressed and groomed and behave as though you are NOT fasting, so that your heart is certainly NOT focused on getting men’s attention, but rather God’s. If we choose to sacrifice and humble ourselves for God, He will reward us. If we do it to perform for men, they will reward us. It’s a question of whom we want to give us a reward.

Which Soil Am I?

I’m still trying to decide which type of soil this describes. I think sharing revelation too quickly makes me the rocky soil. I am the man “who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time.”

Are you tracking with me? In my mind, these two passages of Scripture are intertwined in my experience. I’ve become the rocky soil because I share the word too quickly and fail to develop deep roots. I am at risk of falling away at the point of trouble or persecution. I wish Jesus had explained what the rocks symbolize. Save that for another prayer. In the meantime, I have a dilemma.

To Blog or To Grow?

Have I arrived at the wrong conclusion? I don’t think so. When a revelation comes, I have two choices: write it in my journal, or write it on my blog. Which will I choose? I don’t have the energy to write it twice. By the time I get a thought out, I’m done. I’m wiped. I have two choices, and this is why I sometimes regret that I ever started blogging. If I’d just stuck with my journals, I’d have a ton more content and I’d theoretically be simmering a lot more revelation. But my 6+ blogs have drained the life out of me. And yet, I can’t abandon all of them. All but two, maybe. But not all.

Maybe it’s a mood swing. That’s very possible. Maybe I’ll see it differently tomorrow. But for now, I look at my life, and I wonder: should I be blogging at all?

Father, show me the answer. Show me how to blog and not give away the seeds I should be holding.