What does this cute little guy and today’s image conscious female have in common? Women want the emu’s oil and the emus are trying desperately to keep it.

Okay, maybe it’s not quite the titanic struggle. But these odd little guys produce an oil that appears to have fantastic abilities. How do I know? Well, I haven’t tried emu oil just yet, but I had heard somewhere about it becoming the next miracle skincare product. Then my wife discovers it online while looking for a better skin product and she goes out and buys some – something like $14 for 2 oz. at the health food store.

I think, yeah, okay. Whatever it takes for her to be more at ease and spend less time with all the makeup. Honestly, I thought she was still singing the praises of ProActive by Rodan & Fields. Guess not.

The first night she tries it, I can hear in her voice how impressed she is. She has that sound like she’s being pampered, only she’s just got some emu oil on her face. She tells me that her skin doesn’t feel clogged, that it can still breathe. This is apparently not a common occurrence with skincare. She makes sure to inform me that emu oil penetrate’s seven layers of skin, whereas water only penetrates two. Those extra five are apparently a big deal…

So the emu oil discovery is great and all. I mean, I guess the reason she looked for something new is because of the one and only complaint I had about her appearance: she has spent so much time doing stuff to her skin that I’ve seen her in green or white face masks almost as often as not when we’re at home. I don’t worry about her wearing sweats at home. I just want to see her face. Funny thing is, her face looks great with or without all the fuss. You know how people are, though – they study themselves for flaws and find microscopic details that other people never notice.

On the stranger side of things, our cat has a morbid fascination with the new smell on Heather. I see gluttony and lust in his eyes like when he hears me opening a can of tuna. He sniffed her hand and started licking his chops over and over and over. He tried to nibble on her nose when she bent down to nuzzle him.

So basically, I can’t take my wife out into the wild while she’s wearing her cat bait. I wouldn’t want her getting chased by bears or other wild animals because she smells like a fresh and tasty emu. I guess that’s one of the prices you pay for not buying industrialized chemical products that destroy our environment. Animals are smart enough to stay away from those. Hmm… what does that say about us?

*photo belongs to allaboutemu.com

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