There will come a moment when you feel it. An aching burden in the cavernous dark of your hollowed-out chest. Your heart flexing, struggling to expand. Pressing against ribs like the bars of a prison. Desperate for release. To be free. Internal bruises ache in and around your ribcage express your panicked desire for escape.
In that moment, you will have a choice. A choice you haven’t felt able to make until that very moment. If chosen, you can once and for all surrender that protective covering… that hardened shell designed to shelter your bloodied heart.
Your heart wants to escape. To be free. Pumping faster and harder with a frenzied desperation. To reach beyond the walls. And in this moment, you can finally choose to be different. No more mental assent. No powerless and vain attempts. Step forward. Shed your shell like a husk of corn. Let the raw kernel of self out into the clear, clean light. And be changed.
Find the warmth you silently cried for so many times, yet never received. Allow yourself to be scooped up like a little child. Let the Father comfort you. That warm place of safety you’ve always dreamed of is finally here. He holds you tightly as your fears wash away with each wave of acceptance.
Wave after warm and soothing wave rolls over your body now, and in that deepest place… in the pit of your chest… you aren’t alone. Accepted. Yes.
No need for embarrassment. Shame has no place here. You were never disqualified. You never held the power to negate the suffering and sacrifice of the Son of Man.
And now you know. Your new name. You are… Beloved.
July 10, 2005