I’m sitting at Panera Bread with Nathan Holman, wondering how to best help him find the right woman. Well, maybe I’m not so concerned about the right woman as he is. I just wanted to see if I could play a part in it. So I brainstormed (yes, this is what I do with my spare minutes), and came up with a killer idea.

Pick-Up lines are so last decade. It’s time for the pick-up line to step into the 21st Century. So here’s the plan:

Step 1: Pick out the woman in a cafe (take your time: find one suitable to your tastes)

Step 2: Make sure she’s not wearing a ring (that’s always a mood killer)

Step 3: Get your camera phone ready for a picture

Step 4: Plan your route to the restroom strategically for at least two strafing runs

Step 5: Take her picture

Step 6: Return to your laptop

Step 7: Write a blog about the most beautiful woman sitting in your cafe, how you asked her out on a date, she said yes, and they both lived happily ever after (the details here can be your own)

Step 8: Add the picture you took

Step 9: Post the blog with her photo

Step 10: Pick up your laptop

Step 11: Carry it over to her table

Step 12: Set it down gently in front of her

Step 13: Calmly take your seat across the table

Step 14: Smoothly swivel your laptop to face her

Step 15: Say to her, “Hi, I’m ____. I was wondering if you could make this come true”

Step 16: Get her number

See how easy that was?!?!?!? You stud, you. Rinse and repeat.

******Emergency Step 17***********

If she happens to look horrified that you took her picture without her consent and she makes a move to call the police to grab a random blunt object from her purse, grab your computer and run like hell!

5 responses to “The Perfect Pick-Up Line 2.0”

  1. […] Pick-Up Lines are no longer needed. Now you can freak a chick out with a blog. (Culture Feast) Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]

  2. wow. not gonna lie. That’s pretty good. Really. If that happened to me I’d be smiling ear to ear. Seriously, I’d be flattered.

  3. OMG, that would’ve been a perfect scene in “He’s Just Not That Into You” !!! Honestly though I think many women might think you’re a stalker if you do this … how about writing a sonnet? LOL!

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