• Texas Gubernatorial Election 2006

    It’s a sad day in Texas. Someone running for governor has to be elected. For the first time in history, there are four candidates running neck and neck for the prize. How can there be four? Simple. No one is qualified. One of the largest states in the Union, and we can’t come up with a better list of potentials than Chris Bell (Democrat), Rick Perry (Republican), Kinky Friedman (Independent), and Carole Keeton Strayhorne (Independent).

    Let’s start off with the worst. Carol Keeton Strayhorne’s campaign slogan has been “One Tough Grandma.” Hmm. That’s great. I don’t want a tough grandma running the second largest state in the country. During the gubernatorial debate pictured above, she couldn’t even answer the question, “Who is the current President of Mexico?” If a Texas governor doesn’t know that, then who are they going to speak with when we have immigration issues? It’s way too late in the game for that kind of ignorance.

    Then there’s Kinky Friedman. Sure, his name sounds kinda cool. Whoopee. He wants to legalize gambling and marijuana, and he’s depending on 18-28 year olds to vote him in. Any time your primary constituents fall into that age range, it means you’re not focusing on the real issues.

    What about incumbent governor Rick Perry? Are you kidding? They don’t come looking much more fake and underhanded than Mr. Perry. I will show respect to whoever is elected, but during the election process, we must determine who is qualified and deserving. Unfortunately, Mr. Perry has screwed up the funding for public schools. He is responsible for practically seizing land for highway building and then awarding the building contracts to foreign companies. There’s nothing about him that says, “I am a respectable man.” Both George W. Bush and Anne Richards were better governors than Mr. Perry.

    Finally, we have Chris Bell, who, by default, may be the best choice in this year’s election. Bell is hardly the moral standard. He adamantly supports gay rights and embryonic stem cell research. These are non-optional in my book, which eliminates Chris Bell immediately.

    Who, then, should run the state of Texas? Luckily, the Texas Railroad Commissioner and Comptroller have more power than the actual governor has. Hopefully, we will survive the next term without major damage despite the results of this Fall’s election.