Sometimes it feels like God Himself has opposed us and our efforts to succeed. The stars seemed aligned for breakthrough and suddenly catastrophe strikes. Hearbreak disrupts. Hope is lost.
There’s are times I feel thwarted and it angers me to the core. The injustice of my good intentions falling apart before execution is too much to bear.
Then there are times when being thwarted feels special. Almost like a privilege. When my insides feel cleaner and purified by the process of disappointment. As though I am being pruned. And while my desires are not being fulfilled, somehow I know that I am better off for it.
That’s hard to live with, though. The moment passes and that sense of rightness dissipates. And what’s left but rationalizations of how being thwarted was only the result of my disorganization. My lack of preparedness.
Thank you, Father, for thwarting me when it is in the best interests of my heart to be conformed into the image of your will. It’s painful, but it’s sweet. Thank you for this precious sacrament.