I realize that at times my writing is scatterbrained at best. I knew that the first post on this topic was just a quick dump, without form or attempt to structure. Sometimes it is necessary just to avoid forgetting the primary thoughts and/or feelings on a given subject. As I think of the subject of finding one’s Christian soulmate, I think primarily of the woman, simply because men seeking commitment and/or Christ seem to be in short supply.

There is this mad rush to marry all the most popular girls at a young age, and then many of the quality people are still waiting for Mr. Right to come along. So what is a woman to do? In the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex alone, I know of ten charismatic churches with memberships of 1,000 or more. There are at least twice that in the area, but I’m being conservative. Out of those ten “megachurches,” there might be anywhere from 50-100 single, available, and relationship-seeking men between 30-40 years old. Slim pickens, I’d say.

Maybe there are many more out there, but even if there were, a woman couldn’t visit all ten churches and meet all 100 men in less than a couple years. Think about one’s chances of showing up to visit a church and 15% of the available guys are not present that week. Even if they were there, how would you meet them all? And how would you weed through the ones who are married, dating, or simply too immature to consider? This is where a service like eHarmony comes into play. Sure, it’s not as popular as Yahoo’s dating service or Match.com, but millions of people do use it and find love. And it seems to be the number one place for Christians who are looking for marriage. If you’re going to fish, start with the right pond. Don’t waste time.

A service like eHarmony allows a woman to enter her personal information. Then it checks men with similar personal information and provides her with a collection of matches. These are what we in the marketing world call qualified leads. They are men, they are Christian men, they are Christian men looking for a woman, and they are Christian men looking for a woman somewhat like you. You won’t run into anyone saying, “I just want to be friends.” No chance of misinterpreting the situation here. If you agree to meet, you both know it’s a date, even if you bring other people along. The men don’t have a chance to search through all the dating profiles online. That means that they can’t be a different person to each woman, simply manipulating their way into women’s lives. They have to enter one profile, and they will be matched with similar profiles.

The woman call allow the matched men to make the first move if she wants. But it is definitely another way to let the right kind of people know that you are available. Set your criteria as strict or as loose as you want. You can change it over time if you are not receiving the results you desire. Look, I’m not promoting eHarmony; not really. All I’m saying is that a woman should have a fighting chance to find happiness in a healthy, godly relationship. And those of us who have found our wonderful mates already have no right to begrudge someone else that same privilege.

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