Self. Awareness. Blog.
On my third trip to the beach within the past year, I realized that beach romance is dead. I’m 38 years old, with three children who don’t really give me a moment’s rest. And going to the beach has become just another one of those parental tasks we do.
This is life when you’ve spent most of your life damaging your body and a brief few years trying to heal it. Every task, even the supposedly fun ones, are a chore.
It’s 5:30AM. I just finished watching Jupiter Ascending. I’m not here to discuss the movie. Only what the movie means to me in this very moment.
As I close the aluminum lid of my Macbook Pro, I sigh a contented sigh. I have successfully lived another adventure from the safety and security of the living room couch.
There was a fellow student I admired in college both for all he had endured and all he planned to do with his life. Years later, we connected on Facebook and he reacted bitterly to my choice of profession. In his mind, all types of marketing were pure evil.
Without us ever having a debate or disagreement of any substance, he unfollowed me and has never reached out to me again.
What do you do with a vision that no one wants to hear? Duh. You blog it. You share it with the Internet and let any who might be interested find it on their own.
Imagine a different church structure than we currently see anywhere in the U.S. Imagine a decentralized church structure wherein the building becomes an obsolete expression of the faith.
What do YOU do? It can be hard to define, especially when you have multiple skills and interests. But t until someone comes along and helps to make it stupid simple. Cut through all the distractions and fill in these three blanks:
It’s probably the name of a country song, but it’s real life to me. In my early twenties, I was full of pride about my potential, which had been spoken over me by various people in my church.
But callings and purpose and potential only take you so far. Then comes the real life stuff… the work. The becoming. The doing something that actually matters instead of talking about it.
Somewhere along the way, I no longer believed that I would live up to my potential. This terrifying dark thought crept in on me like an icy dagger: “What if I die completely unknown to the world?”
While that might not be the end of the world for some, the very idea of such insignificance strikes a note of devastating failure into the core of my being. If I have not impacted my planet, nor swayed the thinking of its men, what have I done all this time?
If there is ONE thing I learned from Church about work, it’s that I should be faithful and endure where I am and wait for God to promote me in His timing.
Not one word about how a person makes that transition to owning their own business. There were entrepreneurs in the church, but they were addressed only as entities that pre-existed and who now have general obligations to serve and bless and further the Kingdom.
But it never occurred to me to own a business because I was too busy feeling guilty for not being a good fit for the position I was in at my current job.
I honestly would never have tried because it was ingrained in my thinking to never leave a job I don’t like. It was always a character flaw or opportunity for growth rather than a signpost of the obvious conclusion that God made me to dream and to blaze a trail.
If you are a current or former spiritual leader and people look up to you, please make certain that old assumptions about character and Joseph and sin nature aren’t oozing out in ways that influence the Kingdom to accept stunted growth.
This is your day. But first, a confession.
I confess that I’ve wasted far too many years and too many birthdays trying to invent the perfect birthday present. I’ve let myself feel too much pressure to the point of spending this day wallowing in shame and disappointment rather than in celebrating you.
I don’t know what’s changed exactly. But whatever the cause, this day of this year feels different.
It’s not about gifts or the perfect love language. I am thinking only of you. I am picturing the four year old Heather, the eleven year old Heather, and the fifteen year old Heather. I am imagining you in every season – how you looked, what you felt, every tear you cried, and how you saw the world. Today I am observing your life through stories and imagination, and finding joy and sadness and intrigue along the way.
I know you don’t like to call attention to yourself. You don’t expect anyone to find you all that interesting. But you are. And I do.
Sometimes busyness and healing get in the way of just feeling human. And though I appreciate how hard you push forward to provide your children with a healthier and more vibrant future, you are still this curiously intriguing person who deserves a story all her own.
You have been worth celebrating at every step… Every year you have faced this great unknown. I grieve that it didn’t always happen.
Today is different. Today you are my beautiful wife, in whom I take great pride. So we will flip through the photo albums and listen to Gigi tell grand tales of the little girl who burned down her kitchen and the girl who once hailed a taxi to take her grandmother to the emergency room, and the woman who gave birth in her home to three of the most amazing little humans ever to slobber on this earth. We will tell our stories and eat good food and thank God that you landed in our little corner of the world.
Happy birthday, Heather. I am amazed that you are you.
In a recent interview for ProBlogger, the original gangster of mommy blogging has announced her intention to cut the ball and chain. For Heather Armstrong of Dooce.com, blogging isn’t what it used to be.
Now, a lot of mommy blogs are about documenting instead of storytelling. It’s a photo essay of their kid sitting on the countertop in perfectly clean clothes licking the cake spoon. It’s so curated. In beginning, it was all mess. People were craving honest stories about parenting. I think people are craving that again now, but bloggers are afraid to be that honest. Since blogging is so flush with money, the immediate thought is, is there going to be money in that? How do you monetize a mess?
This is such a loaded question, I just know that as soon as more than five people read this website, it’s going to stir some people up.
Over the past week, I’ve seen two quote memes – one from former President Jimmy Carter, and one from Stephen Colbert – on the subject of Christian government and caring for the poor. Both essentially chided Christians who disapprove of government programs helping the poor.
