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A Thought on Married Life

Married life is good. Let me tell you, I never thought I would enjoy spending time with my wife as much as I do. I enjoy her company.

Simple things are what make life pleasant. Things like seeing her for lunch almost every day of the week. We enjoy most of the same tv shows (she’s not a Mavericks or Cowboys fan, for which I forgive her). She willingly and bravely suffers my movie addiction. I suffer her need to save money rather than spend (not so much a virtue on my part).

I’m not looking at the big picture right now. Honestly, the big picture seems to fluctuate so often, I’d rather live day to day. We don’t avoid planning or setting goals, we just keep a few extras close to hand because we know our tastes and preferences change over time.

God has blessed our marriage. I am blessed to be in covenant relationship with a beautiful woman who is ever increasing in playfulness and sense of humor. She’s better at several important things than I am, which makes her a valuable part of our family team.

She’s pulling up in the driveway for lunch. Life is good.

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  1. hmmm, is it still good? sounds like that too-good-to-be-true phase people warned me would end in my own marriage. It did…13 years and 3 kids later, he left for a woman half his age…and I, thankfully, have resisted the temptation to get married again in the four years since he walked out. Single life is good. Peaceful. Fulfilling.

    • Married life is better than good. I’m not claiming we don’t have serious arguments or fights, because we do. But we’re growing as people all the time. My wife used to be terribly disappointed in our “how we met” story because she wanted it to be the picture perfect intro. It wasn’t even close. But I told her then, and I maintain this belief, that I would rather have a rocky start and grow each year into a more satisfying marriage.

      That is exactly what we’ve done. Let me give you an example of my personal growth:

      When Heather and I met in college, I smoked a pack of cigarettes, drank 10 Dr. Peppers, ate three fastfood meals, and drank almost no water EVERY SINGLE DAY.

      Over the past nine years, I no longer smoke. I gave up sodas. I eat almost all organic/whole foods for every snack and meal. God has been faithful to me as I’ve asked for his help and actually made tiny decisions to be more responsible with my actions.

      A good life isn’t necessarily marked by the absence of “bad” things, though. I know many sheltered people who don’t seem happy or alive, yet they do nothing obviously “sinful.”

      But I can say that as I’ve taken risks and God has given me grace, my moods, my thoughts, and my relationships have improved as I’ve replaced destructive habits with productive/life-giving habits. My attitude is 180 degrees different from college, and I’m grateful for my life, even when significant dreams and goals still haven’t yet come true.

      There is no utopia. I have conflict in my life almost every single day. I still cuss like a sailor at times. I have plenty of room to experience a more abundant life. But my marriage is good because we made a decision before we joined in the marriage covenant that no matter what, there is no backing out. There is no leaving.

      Infidelity with another person is perhaps the only thing that could break up a marriage based on this decision. Once the option of quitting was removed, we have to press on and choose to humble ourselves and admit when we’re wrong and when we’ve blown it. There’s a lot of eating humble pie, but it’s so worth it. There’s nothing more intimate than a couple who have both humbled themselves over and over again.

  2. I also want to say that I am more captivated by my wife today than I have been since we dated. I am so satisfied with her. Even my complaints are small in comparison to the personal satisfaction I have in knowing her and touching her and living life beside her.